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10 Tips to make sure you don't have a shitty wedding day

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Planning your wedding day can be utterly ridiculous. 

I've just read a checklist that had 120 items to tick off that needed to be done prior to being wed! Whilst meticulously sticking diamonte's onto each guests place card is pretty, I promise you the sky will not cave in if this is not achieved. 


Warning- if you're a bride that REALLY to your very core believes every second of their day is going to go perfect, you should probably stop reading now and simply check out some pretty things from Hall Occasions.

So here it is, the only list that actually matters, ten, no bullshit things that you actually need to think about when getting married. 

Let's start with the absolute most important item on the list. 


1- Remember why you're there. 

  •  If it rains, you get a little wet- smile! Friends of mine had it POUR on their wedding day, and their photo's absolutely are some of the best, and most fun I've ever seen. Plan to take an umbrella, no biggie.
  •  If the caterers drop the cake, you get some great pictures of a cake smash that debunk typical cutesy wedding photo's. Seriously, you've been dieting for months, devour that shit.
  •  If crazy Aunty Bertha that likes to tell stories about her latest squeeze shouldn't have been sat next to the priest- get someone to record the priests facial expressions, it will be a meme waiting to happen

Wake up! You're getting married! The little things that are spontaneous will be remembered as some of the best parts of your day. 


2. Don't pick shitty bridesmaids


DO NOT. I repeat DO NOT pick bridesmaids based on who you "should" choose. Go with true friends, (or family).  Bridesmaids who will truly support you. 

Yes, it's good to have honest friends, but don't go with ones who are going to take over your day or bitch behind your back. Just because your husband has 8 groomsmen, does not mean you need 8 bridesmaids.

It's your day.  There are no rules, let the groomsmen pick a partner from the crowd for 1st dance if that's what you're concerned about with even numbers.

 It's better than needing to babysit a sensitive sooky lala for the months of planning leading up to your wedding. They should be there for YOU, (when it comes to wedding duties)  not the other way around. Pick people who you see in your life in twenty years, not just the girlfriends of the groomsmen. 


3. Music Matters.    


STEP AWAY FROM THE "SHUFFLE BUTTON" .   We've all been there, dancing away to BeyoncĂ©'s "Put a ring on it" & then Celine Dion  "My heart will go on"comes on. It's not cool. In fact, most people will gag a little. 

 Music will set the WHOLE feel for your reception. If you're not hiring a DJ or band, take the time and plan a playlist. Listen to it beforehand. If it makes you smile and chair dance- you're on the right track! 


4. EAT!!!!!


It sounds like a no-brainer, but seriously- your wedding day will freaking fly by.

 You probably won't have time for a full meal- Have your (hopefully fabulous) bridesmaids organise a tray of nibbles to be on hand whilst you're geting ready. 

Or your mother in-law- don't forget to give them a few jobs too! 


5. Allocate a person who is the "go to"person for any questions on the day


This can not be you or your husband.

It can not be a chatty friend who's going to come and ask you anyway. 

Give this task to a good friend who you trust to make decisions. It will most likely be small questions that the reception staff will need to ask, this can be handled by your trusty adviser and reduces any stress. 

Be clear to the staff that all questions are to be directed to this person. Perhaps give them a "2IC" incase they would like to run it by anyone. If it IS something you need to know- I'm sure your newly appointed "advisor" can work that out and will run it by you.



6. Pack an "Emergency Kit"


If you're not made to endure walking on stilts for 12 hours, do yourself a favour, pack some flats that match your wedding dress in a bag. 

Also in this bag, pop some panadol, bandaids, a few spare bobby pins, a needle and white thread (in case of wardrobe malfunctions) , and some breath mints. 

Have your bridesmaids responsible for making sure this is packed, or have a relative bring it for you. Trust me, you're going to want most of them. 

This one bag prevents bleeding feet, headaches, boob poppage, hair flattening, and death breath. 

It's a winner.



7. Announce you won't be going to meet and greet everyone


Especially at larger weddings, you will absolutely exhaust yourself trying to make sure all your guests have had their needs met.

 It's YOUR day, go and see Nanna, make some time for Mum and Dad, and then have the MC announce if they'd like to chat- to simply come to where you are!

 If you're on the dance floor, this will encourage guests to get their booties moving, and allow you to simply enjoy your night.  (and your guests will too!)


8. Get it through your head- you may not feel like your "supposed" to on your wedding day


Hollywood has filled us with the hogwash that all brides wake up feeling like they're the luckiest girl in the world, that they absolutely 100% know they are making the right choice. 

Some brides might- but trust me, all brides don't feel this way. 

A lot of brides feel "underwhelmed" on their big day. 

Much of this is due to the months of planning- you think that day you'll wake up relieved it's finally here and be shouting to the ceiling how happy you are.  

This is simply not the case 100% of the time

I loved my wedding day, it absolutely rocked- HOWEVER, to me, it felt simply like a good day with mates, family and my hubby. I awoke feeling like I did any other day. I did not cry during the vows, I did not gush as soon as I saw my groom to be.  I was a little worried at first- does this mean I'm making the wrong choice? Absolutely not!

 It was a great day-  but how you feel that morning does not define your marriage. 10 years later I'm still incredibly happy and married to my soul mate, even without the wedding morning Hollywood tears of happiness. 

I have since spoken to many brides who didn't feel any "different" the morning of their wedding.

 In my opinion, it is a subject that is often swept under the rug, and people are too scared to give the real version, as opposed to the version they believe society demands. 

 (If you DID feel awesome, lovely and romantic on your wedding day- good for you! This is in no way a dig at those who do) 



9. Wedding night sex may not happen- or may be a little "lack-lustre"


If you'll pardon the pun, it's time to "pump" out another truth.  

Wedding days are EXHAUSTING. From getting ready, to the ceremony, to the photos, to the reception, it never stops! You WILL be tired at the end of the night. You may feel like you haven't drawn breath all day. By the time you return to your honeymoon suite, you will want a moment to recharge. 

My advice? Sneak off for a quicky during the reception- you're far more likely to give it your all while you're still buzzing with excitement. 

Don't get me wrong- I wish you great sex. I just wish to point out that you should go in with no "expectations"of exactly how romantic, frantic, or kinky it's going to be, or it will just feel forced. 

Let the night happen, if you're up for a massive shag session- Brilliant!

 If not, it's not an omen that your relationship is doomed.

 You're honeymoon and the years to come will provide ample time for sweaty sex sessions, and romance. IT'S O.K. 



10. BREATHE and enjoy- YOU'RE FREAKING GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

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